Interesting premise! Diana is a clone--but why? There's a lot of mystery here.
I'm not a fan of present-tense narration, and I would second the need for some proofreading. But you do descriptions really well. All the writing needs is a little fine-tuning.
What are some good alternatives, to present-past in your view? I like writing in present tense in general, because - and maybe this is just me - it reads more active and allows more movement, both psychological and physical; but when I go to describe something in the past, for instance, I get a bit tangled in my mind, so I just revert to writing past tense for that section, like I've done here. It's funny you say that, because it's something I've struggled with for some time. Oh, and I'll get to proof reading today!
Once more, I appreciate the feedback, it's awesome.
I’ve typically just used past. There may be other alternatives, but I’m not familiar with them.
Present tense isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s a matter of taste. So if you find it works for you, stick with it. I’m probably not the only reader who isn’t a fan of it, but you’re an interesting writer regardless of your choice of tense.
Mmm, it may be a from reading a lot of minimalism - I find the structure and style of it quite interesting; though not the lack of plot and resolution.
Consider me intrigued...a sci-fi story that digs into the implications of cloning is always welcome. Now I'm listening to baglama music!
(Also, your content is great, but there are grammatical issues which disrupt the reader's experience and break the story's 'immersion'; I'd consider getting a friend to line-edit or try an editing program.)
Interesting premise! Diana is a clone--but why? There's a lot of mystery here.
I'm not a fan of present-tense narration, and I would second the need for some proofreading. But you do descriptions really well. All the writing needs is a little fine-tuning.
Thanks for the read Bill!
What are some good alternatives, to present-past in your view? I like writing in present tense in general, because - and maybe this is just me - it reads more active and allows more movement, both psychological and physical; but when I go to describe something in the past, for instance, I get a bit tangled in my mind, so I just revert to writing past tense for that section, like I've done here. It's funny you say that, because it's something I've struggled with for some time. Oh, and I'll get to proof reading today!
Once more, I appreciate the feedback, it's awesome.
I’ve typically just used past. There may be other alternatives, but I’m not familiar with them.
Present tense isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s a matter of taste. So if you find it works for you, stick with it. I’m probably not the only reader who isn’t a fan of it, but you’re an interesting writer regardless of your choice of tense.
Mmm, it may be a from reading a lot of minimalism - I find the structure and style of it quite interesting; though not the lack of plot and resolution.
Thanks Bill, that's great to hear.
Consider me intrigued...a sci-fi story that digs into the implications of cloning is always welcome. Now I'm listening to baglama music!
(Also, your content is great, but there are grammatical issues which disrupt the reader's experience and break the story's 'immersion'; I'd consider getting a friend to line-edit or try an editing program.)
Yes, cloning is always a fascinating subject!
And thanks. I'll look it over (or someone else) and fix it up. I appreciate that, for sure!
I'm into the story and would love to find out all the details as you continue writing it.
Thank you, I appreciate it! I've got most of a second chapter drafted, so hopefully that'll be released in the near future.